hi i was in the same boat as you with my ex once they hit you they wont stop i went through it for 6 years and i gave into drugs i lost all of my 6 children because of drugs and i was heartbroken still i continued to use i moved away from him and i still met guys who used and i almost died from this finally i met a man that helped and 3 years ago i lost a nineteen yr old son to a heroin overdose now i pray to god everyday we have a few beers everyday we watch football and all sports but the only thing i can say is i am sorry i have ben there  and done that you can find a good amn it took me 10 years but i found him